Healing Shame and the Stories We Carry
Stories definitely bite back at us and one of the reasons is shame. Shame is a quiet weight many of us carry without realizing it. It isn’t as obvious as anger or as urgent as fear. Instead, it lingers in the background—woven into our thoughts, choices, and even our biology. Healing shame can be a crucial component of physical health. It affects us insidiously, hijacking our nervous system and leading to many immunological and neurological issues.
And here’s what’s important to know: the shame that affects your health today didn’t start with your health. It often goes back much further—childhood criticisms, moments of humiliation, or times you felt like you didn’t belong. Recent evidence suggests that it could be a function of your ancestors.
Wherever it originated, old shame has a way of showing up in the present. And if it’s unseen, it quietly shapes your health.
How Shame Leaves Its Mark on the Body
Shame is not just an emotion—it’s a full-body state.
When shame arises, your nervous system reacts. Your shoulders hunch, your breath becomes shallow, and maybe you lower your eyes. The body literally curls in on itself, protecting you.
If that state gets repeated enough, it can become the default. Your nervous system learns: This is how we survive—guarded, tense, small.
And over time, that survival strategy changes your biology.
- Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline stay elevated, raising your blood sugar levels and more.
- Your immune system drifts toward chronic inflammation.
- Digestion slows or becomes unpredictable.
- Your ability to rest, repair, and heal shrinks.
This isn’t “mind over matter.” It’s mind shaping matter. The stories and emotions we carry really affect the body.
The Way Shame Shapes Behavior
Beyond the biology, shame influences daily choices. Without realizing it, we often make decisions that align with our hidden self-image.
If somewhere inside you feel unworthy, you might:
- Put off seeking medical care.
- Downplay symptoms until they become crises.
- Reach for foods or habits that soothe in the moment but strain your health long-term.
- Stay in stressful situations because you don’t believe you deserve better.
This isn’t self-sabotage. It’s self-consistency. Your body and mind are simply keeping the old story alive.
This Isn’t About Blame
If you see yourself in this, please know: you did not choose this. Healing shame requires you to dig deep within your psyche. You didn’t choose the experiences that planted the shame. You didn’t choose to carry it forward. And you certainly didn’t decide to let it affect your health. Your nervous system was doing its best to protect you. What we’re doing now is simply bringing the pattern into awareness—so you can release it. Having compassion for yourself and others lubricates the process.
Meeting Shame with Curiosity
Shame thrives in the shadows. It has the most power when it remains unnamed and unspoken. Healing shame requires looking at your shadow. (I’ll have another article about the shadow later in this series.)
The moment you meet it with gentle curiosity, its grip loosens.
Here’s a simple practice you can try:
- Notice the moment–when you feel the urge to hide, or the inner voice says, “You’re not enough,” pause.
- Locate it in the body–where do you feel it? Chest, stomach, shoulders?
- Name it without judgment-say to yourself: “This is shame.” Not “I’m bad,” just: This is shame.
- Ask softly–“When have I felt this before?” Let memories surface. Sometimes they go back decades. Don’t worry if nothing comes. And you don’t have to remember incidents to heal.
- Thank your body–it thought it was protecting you—and in a way, it was.
This isn’t about fixing shame in one session. It’s about slowly showing your body it’s safe to stand tall, breathe deeply, and release the old armor. Daily micro breakthroughs are how we change.
Healing Without Forcing
The body doesn’t open under pressure. It opens when it feels safe.
That’s why in the Health-Story Workshop, we don’t push or pry. Instead, we create a safe space to explore the stories you’ve been carrying. When your body relaxes, your biology changes. And when your biology changes, healing becomes more possible.
Shame may have shaped your health quietly for years. Healing shame requires meeting it with compassion to loosen its hold.
Your body remembers how to be free. And when your body feels free, health has a way of following.
Ready to Go Deeper?
If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:
“Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis.”
We’ll go step-by-step through the process of uncovering and gently releasing the narratives that keep us stuck—and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed aside.
Because the truth is, you are more than your diagnosis.
More than your past.
And more than the story you’ve been told.
Healing begins when you believe that.
👉 [Sign up here to be the first to know when registration opens.]
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