Symptoms can help us find a diagnosis. For many people, finally getting a diagnosis feels like a turning point.

It can be a huge relief:

• At last, there’s an explanation.
• At last, there’s a name for what you’ve been living with.
• At last, some proof that you’re not “making it up.”

And yet, I’ve also seen how that same diagnosis can quietly turn into a kind of cage.

What starts as “Now I know what I’m working with” sometimes becomes:

• “I am hypothyroid.”
• “I’m a Lyme patient.”
• “I’m bipolar.”
• “I’m ADHD.”

The label that once felt freeing becomes an identity. And when that happens, healing often slows down—or even stalls—without us realizing why.

The Double-Edged Sword of Diagnosis

To be clear: diagnosis itself isn’t the enemy.

It can be life-changing. It can guide treatment, open doors to resources, and validate years of confusing symptoms.

But a diagnosis is just a snapshot. It’s a way of naming patterns, labs, and symptoms in this moment. It’s not a prophecy. It’s not your personality. And it’s definitely not your destiny.

The trouble begins when the story shifts from:

• “I’m experiencing this” → “I am this.”

That subtle shift changes the way you relate to your body, the choices you make each day, and even what your nervous system expects for your future.

The Invisible Subtitles

Every diagnosis carries a hidden story. Sometimes it’s said outright:

• “There’s no cure.”
• “It only gets worse.”
• “You’ll just have to manage it.”

Other times, you simply absorb it—through tone, statistics, or the way people stop expecting recovery.

Your brain and body are always listening. Even if no one says it directly, the nervous system gets the message. And once that seed is planted, it influences biology:

• You brace for flare-ups.
• You stop exploring new approaches.
• You begin to expect decline.

This isn’t weakness. It’s human nature—our brains prefer predictability, even if it limits possibility. But healing rarely flourishes in the soil of hopelessness.

You Are Not Your Diagnosis

One of the most powerful shifts you can make is separating who you are from what you’re experiencing.

Instead of saying:

• “I’m a chronic fatigue patient.”
  Try: “I’ve been navigating fatigue, and I’m learning what my body needs.”

Instead of:

• “I’m a depressed person.”
  Try: “I’ve been experiencing depression symptoms, and I’m supporting my brain and body as they rebalance.”

Language isn’t just semantics—it changes biology. Research shows that people who see themselves as active participants in their health, rather than passive victims, have stronger immune function, more symptom improvement, and greater resilience.

This isn’t “toxic positivity.” It’s neuroscience.

What Story Are You Living?

If you’ve carried a diagnosis for years, it may feel woven into your identity. It may have given you community or even purpose. That’s not wrong.

But it’s worth asking:

• Who am I beyond this label?
• What parts of me have been overshadowed?
• What might become possible if I stopped expecting the worst?

These aren’t questions of denial. They’re invitations to expand.

Your Body Is Not Fixed

Remember: your body is always changing.

• Cells regenerate.
• Nerves rewire.
• Hormones shift.
• Gut microbiomes restore.
• Emotional patterns evolve.

Even if the diagnosis remains in your medical chart, it doesn’t have to define your daily reality.

Healing is the shift from:

• Reaction → Relationship
• Control → Curiosity
• Fear → Possibility

That’s what it means to live beyond the label.

Three Ways to Begin

1. Shift Your Language
   Notice when you say, “I am [condition].” Experiment with:

• “My body is navigating…”
• “I’m learning how to support…”
• “My health is changing, and I’m listening.”

2. Reclaim What Got Overshadowed
   Ask yourself:

• What brings me joy outside of my health?
• Who was I before this?
• What do I still long for?
  Let healing include pleasure—not just protocols.

3. Visualize Beyond the Diagnosis
   Spend a few minutes imagining:

• Inflammation cooling
• Energy flowing
• A future you living with ease, trust, and vitality

This isn’t fantasy—it’s mental rehearsal, and neuroscience shows it changes your immune system and your brain.

A diagnosis can be a tool. It can be a map. But it is never the full story of you.

You are a dynamic, responsive, ever-changing being.

So I’ll leave you with this:
👉 Are you ready to step beyond the label? And if so—what new story might your body be waiting to tell?

✨ Ready to step beyond the label?

If you’ve been carrying a diagnosis—or a health story—that feels heavier than it needs to be, you don’t have to untangle it alone.

I created the Stories Workshop as a safe, powerful space to explore how the narratives we inherit, absorb, and repeat quietly shape our biology—and how to shift them so healing becomes possible again.

It’s 2.5 hours of guided reflection, practical tools, and community support to help you move from “this is who I am” to “this is what I’m experiencing—and it can change.”

Because your diagnosis may describe you today, but it does not define who you are becoming.

👉 Join the next Stories Workshop here Sign up now and receive a free eBook to help break your patterns.

The next article asks who you are without the struggle.

Anxiety doesn’t always announce itself with panic.
Sometimes, it’s the constant hum in the background — a tightness in the chest, a restless night’s sleep, or the feeling that your body is “on” even when you’re trying to rest.

If you’ve ever wished you could turn down the volume on your nervous system, yoga might be one of the simplest, most powerful ways to do it. Yoga is not just good for the body, but for the mind too.

🌿 When Your Body Forgets How to Relax

Anxiety isn’t just “in your head.”
It’s a full-body experience — an over-activation of the sympathetic nervous system that keeps your body in “fight, flight, or freeze.”

When this system gets stuck in overdrive, even small stressors feel overwhelming. Muscles stay tense, breathing gets shallow, and your brain receives the message that you’re not safe — even when you are.

That’s where yoga comes in.

🧘‍♀️ Yoga as a Nervous System Reset

Yoga works because it teaches your body how to feel safe again.
Every slow movement and mindful breath communicates to your brain: You can relax now. It’s okay.

Here’s what actually happens when you practice:

• Your breath deepens, activating the vagus nerve — the body’s natural brake pedal for anxiety.
• Muscle tension releases, sending calming signals to the brain.
• Heart rate and cortisol levels drop, improving your ability to focus and rest.
• Your awareness expands, so instead of being trapped in anxious thoughts, you start to feel what’s happening and respond with gentleness.

Many yoga asanas help you move breath to movement. This encourages the body to slowdown and relaxation to flood the body. Over time, yoga retrains your nervous system to recognize safety — not as an idea, but as a felt experience.

🧠 The Mind-Body Connection Reinforced

Anxiety disconnects us from our bodies. Yoga restores that connection through embodiment — the practice of being fully present in your physical self.

When you move with awareness — feeling your feet on the mat, your breath in your ribs, your heart rate slowing — your body becomes a source of calm instead of alarm.

That’s why research shows yoga can reduce symptoms of anxiety, improve sleep, and increase emotional regulation. It literally strengthens the communication between your body and brain. The parasympathetic nervous system gets reset which likely is related to the vagus nerve.

💗 Beyond the Mat: Bringing Calm Into Everyday Life

The real power of yoga isn’t just what happens during class — it’s what changes afterward.
People often notice they:

• React less strongly to stress.
• Recover more quickly after emotional upsets.
• Feel grounded and present instead of “spinning out.”

Even 10–15 minutes a day can create real shifts. It’s not about flexibility — it’s about retraining your physiology to support peace.  Studies also suggest yoga slows the aging process. (Or maybe even reverses it). The telomeres, (the ends of chromosomes), lengthen reversing cellular aging.

🌸 A Gentle Place to Begin

If anxiety has made your body feel like an unpredictable place, start slow.
Choose gentle, restorative, or breath-focused yoga. Let go of striving for perfect poses.
Instead, let each movement remind you: This is my body, and I can return home to it. Use the poses as an opportunity to settle back into your body. Focus on your breath to settle into your body.

Over time, that message becomes stronger than anxiety itself.

✨ Final Thoughts

Yoga isn’t a cure-all, but it’s one of the most effective, body-based tools for calming the nervous system and re-establishing inner safety. When combined with other integrative approaches — like neurofeedback, nutrient support, and mindfulness — it becomes part of a holistic blueprint for peace.

Your body already knows how to heal.
Yoga simply helps it remember.

If you’d like to learn more about the benefits of yoga, check out my book “Feel Well, Play Well: Amazing Golf through Whole Health.” It’s not just about golf and includes a few yoga series to help you get started. Plus it includes other basic treatments useful for anyone that are related to yoga. Enjoy!

Also, check out my Eliminated Anxiety Naturally natural online course.

For many people, finally getting a diagnosis feels like a turning point. It can explain our symptoms.

It can be a huge relief:

• At last, there’s an explanation.
• At last, there’s a name for what you’ve been living with.
• At last, some proof that you’re not “making it up.”

And yet, I’ve also seen how that same diagnosis can quietly turn into a kind of cage.

What starts as “Now I know what I’m working with” sometimes becomes:

• “I am hypothyroid.”
• “I’m a Lyme patient.”
• “I’m bipolar.”
• “I’m ADHD.”

The label that once felt freeing becomes an identity. And when that happens, healing often slows down—or even stalls—without us realizing why.

The Double-Edged Sword of Diagnosis

To be clear: diagnosis itself isn’t the enemy.

It can be life-changing. It can guide treatment, open doors to resources, and validate years of confusing symptoms.

But a diagnosis is just a snapshot. It’s a way of naming patterns, labs, and symptoms in this moment. It’s not a prophecy. It’s not your personality. And it’s definitely not your destiny.

The trouble begins when the story shifts from:

• “I’m experiencing this” → “I am this.”

That subtle shift changes the way you relate to your body, the choices you make each day, and even what your nervous system expects for your future.

The Invisible Subtitles

Every diagnosis carries a hidden story. Sometimes it’s said outright:

• “There’s no cure.”
• “It only gets worse.”
• “You’ll just have to manage it.”

Other times, you simply absorb it—through tone, statistics, or the way people stop expecting recovery.

Your brain and body are always listening. Even if no one says it directly, the nervous system gets the message. And once that seed is planted, it influences biology:

• You brace for flare-ups.
• You stop exploring new approaches.
• You begin to expect decline.

This isn’t weakness. It’s human nature—our brains prefer predictability, even if it limits possibility. But healing rarely flourishes in the soil of hopelessness.

You Are Not Your Diagnosis

One of the most powerful shifts you can make is separating who you are from what you’re experiencing.

Instead of saying:

• “I’m a chronic fatigue patient.”
  Try: “I’ve been navigating fatigue, and I’m learning what my body needs.”

Instead of:

• “I’m a depressed person.”
  Try: “I’ve been experiencing depression symptoms, and I’m supporting my brain and body as they rebalance.”

Language isn’t just semantics—it changes biology. Research shows that people who see themselves as active participants in their health, rather than passive victims, have stronger immune function, more symptom improvement, and greater resilience.

This isn’t “toxic positivity.” It’s neuroscience.

What Story Are You Living?

If you’ve carried a diagnosis for years, it may feel woven into your identity. It may have given you community or even purpose. That’s not wrong.

But it’s worth asking:

• Who am I beyond this label?
• What parts of me have been overshadowed?
• What might become possible if I stopped expecting the worst?

These aren’t questions of denial. They’re invitations to expand.

Your Body Is Not Fixed

Remember: your body is always changing.

• Cells regenerate.
• Nerves rewire.
• Hormones shift.
• Gut microbiomes restore.
• Emotional patterns evolve.

Even if the diagnosis remains in your medical chart, it doesn’t have to define your daily reality.

Healing is the shift from:

• Reaction → Relationship
• Control → Curiosity
• Fear → Possibility

That’s what it means to live beyond the label.

Three Ways to Begin

1. Shift Your Language
   Notice when you say, “I am [condition].” Experiment with:

• “My body is navigating…”
• “I’m learning how to support…”
• “My health is changing, and I’m listening.”

2. Reclaim What Got Overshadowed
   Ask yourself:

• What brings me joy outside of my health?
• Who was I before this?
• What do I still long for?
  Let healing include pleasure—not just protocols.

3. Visualize Beyond the Diagnosis
   Spend a few minutes imagining:

• Inflammation cooling
• Energy flowing
• A future you living with ease, trust, and vitality

This isn’t fantasy—it’s mental rehearsal, and neuroscience shows it changes your immune system and your brain.

A diagnosis can be a tool. It can be a map. But it is never the full story of you.

You are a dynamic, responsive, ever-changing being.

So I’ll leave you with this:
👉 Are you ready to step beyond the label? And if so—what new story might your body be waiting to tell?

✨ Ready to step beyond the label?

If you’ve been carrying a diagnosis—or a health story—that feels heavier than it needs to be, you don’t have to untangle it alone.

I created the Stories Workshop as a safe, powerful space to explore how the narratives we inherit, absorb, and repeat quietly shape our biology—and how to shift them so healing becomes possible again.

It’s 2.5 hours of guided reflection, practical tools, and community support to help you move from “this is who I am” to “this is what I’m experiencing—and it can change.”

Because your diagnosis may describe you today, but it does not define who you are becoming.

👉 [Join the next Stories Workshop here →]

Most of us are taught to treat symptoms like enemies to be silenced. What if we treated symptoms as signals instead?

Headache? Take a painkiller.
Anxiety? Suppress it.
Fatigue? Push through.
Stomach upset? Take a proton-pump inhibitor.

As we discussed in the last post, trying harder isn’t always the answer.  What we’re rarely taught is to ask a different set of questions:
Why is this happening?
What is my body trying to say?
What wisdom is here waiting to be heard?

The truth is: symptoms are not the problem. They’re the messengers.
And real healing begins when we stop fighting them and start listening.

Your Body Is Always Speaking

Symptoms are your body’s language. They’re not random or cruel. They are intelligent responses to stress, trauma, imbalance, or unmet needs.

• That bloating? Your gut could be indicating that it needs rest, not just probiotics.
• That racing heart before a meeting? It may be a nervous system remembering old patterns of pressure or fear.
• That mid-afternoon crash? Maybe it’s your blood sugar—or maybe your body is asking for stillness instead of more caffeine.

When you recognize symptoms as a conversation instead of a breakdown, everything shifts. You stop battling your body and begin to partner with it.

The Cost of Suppression

Of course, wanting relief is human. Pain is real. Fatigue is exhausting. Anxiety is uncomfortable.

But if we only suppress without understanding:

• Root causes deepen, often quietly.
• The body’s limits get overridden, creating burnout or injury.
• Fear grows because we believe our body is “the enemy.”

Eventually, symptoms return—often louder—because the body is still trying to be heard.

Symptoms as Teachers

Strange as it sounds, many people who heal end up grateful for their symptoms. Not because suffering is enjoyable—but because the discomfort woke them up:

• To patterns of overwork and self-neglect.
• To unresolved grief or hidden trauma.
• To foods, habits, or relationships that were draining them.
• To emotional truths the mind had buried, but the body carried.

Symptoms are like the red lights on a car dashboard. They’re not the engine problem themselves—they’re pointing you to what needs attention.

When the Body Feels Heard

Listening to symptoms doesn’t mean giving up. It means shifting from:

• “How do I get rid of this?” → to → “What is this trying to tell me?”
• “My body is broken.” → to → “My body is wise, and asking for support.”

When the body feels heard—without judgment or suppression—it often softens. Inflammation decreases, tension eases, and healing becomes possible.

Three Ways to Partner With Symptoms

1. Start with Curiosity, Not Fear or Annoyance
   • Ask: What was happening right before this started?
   • Am I pushing past my limits?
   • Does this symptom remind me of an old memory or emotion?
     Patterns become clear when you track not just symptoms, but the surrounding context.

2. See the Protective Role

1. • Fatigue may protect you from burnout.
   • Pain may slow you so healing can occur.
   • Anxiety may be alerting you to unsafe dynamics.
     Seeing symptoms as protective—even inconveniently so—creates compassion instead of conflict.

3. Let the Symptom Speak

1. • Close your eyes, breathe, and ask: If this symptom had a voice, what would it say?
   • It might whisper: “You’ve been pushing too hard.”
   • Or: “You need to grieve.”
   • Or: “I need you to slow down.”
     Just listening is often enough to release tension.

You Are Not Broken

You are not broken. You are being asked to listen.

When you reframe symptoms as signals—not flaws—you move into a relationship with your body based on trust. This is the foundation of healing. The body heals best when it feels safe, seen, and heard.

Up Next: Letting Go of the Diagnosis: Healing Beyond Labels

In the next post, I’ll share how to move beyond medical labels—not by denying them, but by refusing to let them define who you are or what’s possible.

Until then, ask yourself:
What are my symptoms trying to say?
And what might change if I truly listened?

P.S. If this resonates, join the interest list for my upcoming workshop:
👉 Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis
Together we’ll explore how to decode your symptoms, rewrite your health story, and rebuild trust with your body.
Join Here

We live in a culture that worships effort. We want answers.

Push through.
Try harder.
No excuses.
Mind over matter.

It values results over process, personality over character.

If you’ve been on a long healing journey, you’ve probably absorbed this mindset. It sounds something like:

• “If I were more disciplined, I’d feel better by now.”
• “I just need to follow the protocol perfectly.”
• “Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough.”
• “Maybe I should find a different doctor.”
• “Maybe ChatGPT has the right answer.”

Here’s what I want you to hear loud and clear:

If trying harder were the answer, you’d be healed already.
You are not unwell because you’re undisciplined.
You are not stuck because you’re lazy, stupid, or haven’t found the right answer.
In fact, many people I work with are trying too hard—and it’s wearing their bodies down. They spend hours on the internet researching their conditions. Or trying all kinds of treatments that may conflict with one another. 

Sometimes, more effort isn’t healing.
Sometimes, it’s just more stress in disguise.

What comes to mind is the serenity prayer from Alcoholics Anonymous, which asks for the ability to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be, and the wisdom to know the difference. When dealing with health issues, how powerful is that!

When Effort Becomes a Trauma Response

Trying harder feels noble, but for many of us, it’s actually a nervous system habit—a survival strategy born from past trauma and/or chronic stress.

If you grew up in an unpredictable environment, you may have learned that safety came from:

• Being the high achiever
• Fixing everything
• Never resting
• Staying vigilant

In your adult life, that might translate into hyper-responsibility. You become the person who researches every symptom, manages a supplement cabinet like a pharmacy, tracks every bite of food, and schedules every minute of your healing plan.

It looks like dedication.
But underneath?
Fear. Tension. Apprehension. Exhaustion.

Your nervous system is still trying to stay safe by doing more. But that doing more comes with a cost. 

The Hidden Cost of “More”

Pushing yourself—especially when your body is already depleted—can actually move you further away from healing.

Why?

Because it keeps your sympathetic nervous system dominant—the fight/flight system.

• Your body thinks you’re under threat, even if the “threat” is following a healing plan rigidly.
• Cortisol stays high or dysregulated.
• Digestion and immune function go offline.
• Inflammation increases.
• Restorative sleep becomes harder.

This is the classic paradox:
The more you push, the more your body resists.
The more you try to control, the more dysregulated you feel.

(I’m ignoring the freeze response for the moment.)

Doing Less Can Be Deeply Healing

This is where we flip the script:

Healing isn’t about perfection.
It’s about safety.
It’s about permission.
It’s about trust.

For many people, the real medicine is learning to let go, not pushing through.

That might look like:

• Taking one day off your supplement schedule to rest
• Eating a meal without over-analyzing every ingredient
• Skipping a workout in favor of a nap (this is BIG).
• Let yourself cry instead of muscling through
• Trusting in something greater than you (or the wisdom of your body) to allow healing to occur

These aren’t signs of failure.
They’re signs of nervous system healing.
Of allowing your body to shift out of effort and into receptivity.

Healing doesn’t happen in effort mode.
It happens in repair mode—parasympathetic mode—where your cells regenerate, your gut restores, and your immune system recalibrates.

But what if I stop trying and get worse?

This fear is so common. It sounds like:

• “If I let go of my routine, I’ll fall apart.”
• “If I stop being strict, my symptoms will come back.”
• “If I rest, I’m giving up.”
• “I feel worse when I sleep too much.”

Let me offer another possibility:

What if your symptoms are asking you to do less?
What if your fatigue, anxiety, or pain is your body saying, “Enough. I need softness now?”

Letting go isn’t the same as giving up.
It’s giving over—to your deeper wisdom.
To the part of you that knows forcing doesn’t lead to peace.

Three Healing Shifts to Make When “Trying Harder” Isn’t Working

1. Trade Discipline for Devotion

Discipline is external. It’s about rules, expectations, control.
Devotion is internal. It’s about care, respect, and love.

Instead of: “I have to follow this protocol perfectly.”
Try: “How can I honor my body today?”

Healing becomes less about force, and more about listening. Listen to what you’re feeling.

2. Let Rest Be Productive

We often think rest is what we earn after doing enough.
But in healing, rest is the work. (And I would argue that having a regular bedtime is important too.)

Rest recalibrates your hormones.
It repairs your gut lining.
It allows your brain to detoxify.

Rest isn’t lazy. It’s biologically intelligent.

What if resting—before you crash—was the most advanced healing tool you had?

3. Soften the Inner Critic

When you live with chronic symptoms, it’s easy to feel like your body is failing you—and to internalize that failure.

An inner voice may whisper:

• “You’re not doing enough.”
• “Other people are healing faster.”
• “You should have figured this out by now.”

This voice doesn’t help.
It reactivates stress, shame, and self-doubt.

The antidote?
Curiosity. Compassion. Connection.

Try saying:

• “I’m doing my best with what I know.”
• “It’s okay to pause.”
• “My body is doing its best to protect me.”
• “What am I feeling right now?”

You’re Allowed to Let It Be Easier

This doesn’t mean you stop caring.
It means you stop fighting yourself in the name of healing.

It means releasing the belief that suffering is required.
That only the hardest path is valid.
That healing has to look a certain way.

You’re allowed to feel better without earning it.
You’re allowed to rest without guilt.
You’re allowed to stop trying harder—and start healing smarter.

What If Your Healing Isn’t a Battle… But a Surrender?

Imagine your healing journey not as a mountain to climb, but as a path to soften into.
Not a battle to win, but a trust fall into your own body’s wisdom.

This doesn’t mean you never take action.
It means your actions stem from alignment—not anxiety or fear.

That’s where true healing begins.

Coming Up: “Symptoms as Signals, Not Enemies.”

In our next post, we’ll dive into the power of reframing symptoms—not as problems to fix, but as messages to understand.

Until then, I invite you to pause.
Take a breath.
Loosen your grip.
Let something be easier today.

You are healing, even now.

P.S. My upcoming workshop, “Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis,” explores exactly this shift—from force to flow, from trying to trusting.
Be the first to hear when registration opens 

Symptoms are signals is the next article in our story.

It’s Not Your Fault—But It Is Your Responsibility

If you’ve struggled with chronic symptoms—anxiety, fatigue, hormone imbalance, pain, or illness—then you probably know the frustration of doing all the things: the diets, the supplements, the labs, the protocols.

And yet… you’re still not where you want to be.

That’s when the quiet, painful question sneaks in:
“What am I doing wrong?”
And just beneath it:
“Is this somehow my fault?”

Let me say this clearly: No, it’s not your fault.
But—healing is your responsibility.

And that difference may be the very thing that unlocks lasting change.

You Didn’t Choose This Starting Point

None of us chooses our starting point.

We don’t choose our genes.
We don’t choose the level of stress or trauma our nervous systems absorbed as kids.
We don’t choose the air we breathe, the food we were fed, or the emotional climate of the homes we grew up in.

Many of the patterns you’re living with now were set in motion long before you had any say:

• Early infections or antibiotics primed your immune system.
• A childhood of unpredictability or criticism trained your stress response.
• Years of overwork or neglect left imprints on your gut, hormones, and sleep.

So when I say it’s not your fault, I mean it with deep compassion. These challenges are part of a much larger web—biological, emotional, cultural, even generational. You didn’t create it.

But You Are the One Who Can Change It

Here’s the paradox: while you didn’t cause it, you are the only one with the power to shift it.

This is what I mean by responsibility.

Responsibility isn’t blame. It’s not guilt. It’s not “I should have known better.”

Responsibility is ownership. It’s the moment you say:
“This is mine now. And I get to decide what happens next.”

That’s the turning point.

Why Ownership Without Blame Is So Powerful

Blame sounds like: “I’m broken. It’s my fault. I’ll never get better.”
Outsourcing sounds like: “Someone else has to fix me. I hope they figure it out.”

Responsibility sounds like: “I may not have caused this, but I can respond to it.”

That shift doesn’t just change your outlook—it changes your biology.

When you reclaim agency, your nervous system moves out of survival mode. Your immune system recalibrates. Your gut, hormones, and repair pathways respond.

This is biology listening to story.

The Trap of Learned Helplessness

One of the deepest wounds of chronic illness is learned helplessness—the sense that nothing you do makes a difference.

But helplessness isn’t just emotional—it’s physiological:

• Cortisol dysregulates.
• Inflammation rises.
• Cellular repair slows.
• The nervous system stays in overdrive.

The body prepares for danger, not healing.

That’s why one of the most important interventions isn’t another supplement or protocol—it’s restoring a sense of power. Not control. Not perfection. Just the deep knowing that what you do matters.

The Key to Healing: Three Ways to Step Into Responsibility (Without Blame)

1. Name What You Didn’t Choose—Then Name What You Can Now

Acknowledge what wasn’t yours: the childhood, the environment, the genetics.
Then ask: What is in my hands now?

• The rhythm of your day
• The way you breathe when you feel stressed
• The choice to pause instead of push
• The boundaries you set around rest and nourishment

This is your territory. This is where healing begins.

2. Choose Curiosity Over Judgment

Responsibility is not self-criticism. It’s self-inquiry.

• Why do I crave sugar when I feel anxious?
• What is my body asking for when a headache comes?
• Where did I learn to ignore my needs until I crash?

Judgment shuts the door. Curiosity opens it.

3. Rewrite the Story You’ve Been Carrying

Often what keeps us stuck isn’t the symptom—it’s the story.

“I’m always the sick one.”
“I never finish things.”
“Healing is hard for people like me.”

These aren’t facts. They’re scripts. And scripts can be rewritten.

When you shift the story, your body follows.

You Are Not to Blame. You Are Not Broken. You Are Becoming.

Here’s the truth I want you to hold:

You are not at fault for what happened to you.
You are not broken because you’re still healing.
And you are not powerless to change.

The moment you take loving responsibility, you stop being a victim of your past and begin authoring your future.

That’s not just hopeful—it’s biology in action.

✨ If this resonates, you’ll love the upcoming workshop:
Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis.

Together, we’ll explore these shifts through guided reflection, nervous system practices, and group coaching—so you can finally let go of blame and step fully into your power.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:
“Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis.”

We’ll go step-by-step through the process of uncovering and gently releasing the narratives that keep us stuck—and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed aside.

Because the truth is, you are more than your diagnosis.
More than your past.
And more than the story you’ve been told.

Healing begins when you believe that.

👉 [Sign up here to be the first to know when registration opens.]

Learn why trying harder isn’t always the answer.

Healing Shame and the Stories We Carry

Stories definitely bite back at us and one of the reasons is shame. Shame is a quiet weight many of us carry without realizing it. It isn’t as obvious as anger or as urgent as fear. Instead, it lingers in the background—woven into our thoughts, choices, and even our biology. Healing shame can be a crucial component of physical health. It affects us insidiously, hijacking our nervous system and leading to many immunological and neurological issues.

And here’s what’s important to know: the shame that affects your health today didn’t start with your health. It often goes back much further—childhood criticisms, moments of humiliation, or times you felt like you didn’t belong. Recent evidence suggests that it could be a function of your ancestors.

Wherever it originated, old shame has a way of showing up in the present. And if it’s unseen, it quietly shapes your health.

How Shame Leaves Its Mark on the Body

Shame is not just an emotion—it’s a full-body state.

When shame arises, your nervous system reacts. Your shoulders hunch, your breath becomes shallow, and maybe you lower your eyes. The body literally curls in on itself, protecting you.

If that state gets repeated enough, it can become the default. Your nervous system learns: This is how we survive—guarded, tense, small.

And over time, that survival strategy changes your biology.

• Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline stay elevated, raising your blood sugar levels and more.
• Your immune system drifts toward chronic inflammation.
• Digestion slows or becomes unpredictable.
• Your ability to rest, repair, and heal shrinks.

This isn’t “mind over matter.” It’s mind shaping matter. The stories and emotions we carry really affect the body.

The Way Shame Shapes Behavior

Beyond the biology, shame influences daily choices. Without realizing it, we often make decisions that align with our hidden self-image.

If somewhere inside you feel unworthy, you might:

• Put off seeking medical care.
• Downplay symptoms until they become crises.
• Reach for foods or habits that soothe in the moment but strain your health long-term.
• Stay in stressful situations because you don’t believe you deserve better.

This isn’t self-sabotage. It’s self-consistency. Your body and mind are simply keeping the old story alive.

This Isn’t About Blame

If you see yourself in this, please know: you did not choose this. Healing shame requires you to dig deep within your psyche. You didn’t choose the experiences that planted the shame. You didn’t choose to carry it forward. And you certainly didn’t decide to let it affect your health. Your nervous system was doing its best to protect you. What we’re doing now is simply bringing the pattern into awareness—so you can release it. Having compassion for yourself and others lubricates the process.

Meeting Shame with Curiosity

Shame thrives in the shadows. It has the most power when it remains unnamed and unspoken. Healing shame requires looking at your shadow. (I’ll have another article about the shadow later in this series.)

The moment you meet it with gentle curiosity, its grip loosens.

Here’s a simple practice you can try:

1. Notice the moment–when you feel the urge to hide, or the inner voice says, “You’re not enough,” pause.
2. Locate it in the body–where do you feel it? Chest, stomach, shoulders?
3. Name it without judgment-say to yourself: “This is shame.” Not “I’m bad,” just: This is shame.
4. Ask softly–“When have I felt this before?” Let memories surface. Sometimes they go back decades. Don’t worry if nothing comes. And you don’t have to remember incidents to heal.
5. Thank your body–it thought it was protecting you—and in a way, it was.

This isn’t about fixing shame in one session. It’s about slowly showing your body it’s safe to stand tall, breathe deeply, and release the old armor. Daily micro breakthroughs are how we change. 

Healing Without Forcing

The body doesn’t open under pressure. It opens when it feels safe.

That’s why in the Health-Story Workshop, we don’t push or pry. Instead, we create a safe space to explore the stories you’ve been carrying. When your body relaxes, your biology changes. And when your biology changes, healing becomes more possible.

Shame may have shaped your health quietly for years. Healing shame requires meeting it with compassion to loosen its hold.

Your body remembers how to be free. And when your body feels free, health has a way of following.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:
“Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis.”

We’ll go step-by-step through the process of uncovering and gently releasing the narratives that keep us stuck—and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed aside.

Because the truth is, you are more than your diagnosis.
More than your past.
And more than the story you’ve been told.

Healing begins when you believe that.

👉 [Sign up here to be the first to know when registration opens.]

Read the next step in your healing journey.

We’ve talked about how your health story is the ongoing narrative you carry — shaped by experiences, symptoms, diagnoses, and the voices of others. And in our last post, we explored how these stories can be incredibly helpful. They can guide you toward treatment, help you explain your experience to loved ones, and give meaning to what you’ve gone through.

But here’s the tricky part: the same story that once helped you can, over time, harm you.

The Shift You Don’t See Coming

It usually happens slowly.
A helpful story starts as something that explains your symptoms and gives you a sense of control. But over the months or years, it can quietly shift into something else — a limiter, a justification, or a hidden ceiling on what you believe is possible.

• You used to say: “I can’t run because my knee injury hasn’t fully healed yet.”
• Now it’s become: “I’m not a runner. I can’t do that. That’s not me anymore.”

The first statement leaves the door open for change. The second quietly shuts and locks it.

Why Stories Can Turn Sour

Your brain loves patterns. It wants to predict what will happen next so it can keep you safe. When you repeat a story to yourself, your mind takes it as a fact — something to plan around, not question.
This is a wonderful survival mechanism… until it isn’t. It’s like driving home from work on the same route every day for five years. You go on autopilot, creating danger if you stop paying attention.

If your story keeps you from exploring new options, trying something again, or re-imagining what healing could look like, it stops serving you and starts trapping you.

The Subtle Signs Your Health Story Has Turned on You

If you’ve been living with health challenges for a while, you might not notice when your story crosses the line from supportive to self-limiting. Here are a few subtle clues:

• You use your health condition to explain more and more areas of your life that feel stuck.
• You’ve stopped even considering certain activities, relationships, or goals because “that’s just not realistic for me.”
• You feel a sense of resignation — as if this is simply “your lot” in life.
• You notice you talk about your condition more than you talk about what you’re doing to feel better.
• You spend more time on the internet researching your condition instead of living your life.

If you nodded along to more than one of these, it might be time for a rewrite.

How to Begin Rewriting a Limiting Story

You don’t have to bulldoze your current narrative or deny what’s true for you. This is about gently loosening the grip of a story that’s no longer helping you heal.

1. Notice the language–listen to the way you describe yourself to others. Do your sentences end possibilities before they start?
2. Separate fact from interpretation–“My doctor said I have X” differs from “I can never Y.”
3. Play with “what if”–even if it feels silly, imagine how your life would look if this limitation weren’t there. What would you try? What would you reclaim?
4. Gather counter-evidence–look for even minor examples of you doing more than your story claims is possible.

Why This Matters for Healing

When you loosen a limiting story, you open space for your brain and body to explore new patterns. You may find new energy for treatments, lifestyle changes, or therapies that once felt irrelevant. And sometimes, the simple act of re-imagining what’s possible changes your physiology — because you’re no longer bracing for a future you’ve already decided is hopeless.

Your story is powerful. If it’s helping you, keep it. If it’s hurting you, rewrite it. You are not locked inside it — you are the author.

Ready to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:
“Letting Go of the Story: Healing Beyond Diagnosis.”

We’ll go step-by-step through the process of uncovering and gently releasing the narratives that keep us stuck—and reconnecting with the parts of ourselves we’ve pushed aside.

Because the truth is, you are more than your diagnosis.
More than your past.
And more than the story you’ve been told.

Healing begins when you believe that.

👉 [Sign up here to be the first to know when registration opens.]

Check out the next post in the series.

Last time, we explored the idea that holding onto a fixed story about your health can keep you stuck. Mind-body connection healing goes both ways. And here’s the thing—your story isn’t always the enemy. In fact, it probably got you through some very hard times.

Sometimes a story is like a walking stick when you’re climbing a steep trail: it supports you, keeps you balanced, and gives you the strength to keep going.

Maybe you’ve said things like:

“I’m a fighter. I don’t give up.”

“I’ve always been sensitive to my environment.”

“I just have to push through.”

Each of these could be part of a story that once helped you survive a health crisis, manage a chronic condition, or even protect your identity when you didn’t have answers. For a while, that story may have been a lifesaver.

A story sometimes gives us coherence and awareness. For example:

“Oh, I act that way in relationships because of how my parents treated me.”

“I reacted strongly to this situation because it reminded me of my ex.”

Here, the story gives context. We gain insight into our behavior or situation. This is powerful for many people.

Stories as Protection

When you first experience health challenges, the uncertainty can feel overwhelming. Your mind naturally reaches for meaning—something that explains what’s happening and gives you a sense of control.

In some sense, a diagnosis is a story. It paints a picture of what is happening in the body. For many, the diagnosis is a relief. Countless times, I have sat in front of patients who cry either knowing or not knowing what their diagnosis may be. And it can give you a roadmap of expectations.

A helpful story can:

Give you a framework for deciding.

Help you explain your situation to others.

Remind you that you can get through hard moments.

Offer comfort during times of fear or doubt.

When the Story Still Serves You

Is the mind-body connection healing or harming you? The test is simple: does your story expand your possibilities, or does it limit them?

If you’re finding new options for care, feeling more confident, and noticing progress—your story is probably still working for you.

For example:

“I can always improve my health.”

“My body responds well when I give it the right support.”

“I am learning what works best for me.”

These are empowering stories. They allow for growth, change, and new opportunities.

When the Story Holds You Back

But over time, even the most supportive story can become too small. Like a cast that once protected a broken bone, it can feel restrictive once healing begins.

If your story now keeps you from trying something new, exploring different approaches, or believing improvement is possible, it may be time to revise it.

That’s when the process I’ll explain in later posts will become important—learning how to recognize, question, and update your story so it works for your next chapter of healing.

Why We Start Here

Before we move into identifying and letting go of limiting stories, I want you to remember this: Your story likely helped you survive. It may have even saved you. That deserves acknowledgment—not shame or blame.

We’re not erasing your past. We’re making room for a future that’s even bigger than your current narrative.

Next time, we’ll talk about how to spot the moments when a once-helpful story has outlived its usefulness—and how to shift toward one that opens doors instead of closing them.

P.S. The Letting Go of the Story workshop will help you safely explore these questions—through guided journaling, somatic work, and small group healing. 
Join the interest list here.

Check out the next post in the series.